i cant keep finding out how much i hurt people. especially when i didnt see it coming. i guess guys and girls cant ever really be friends…
I love what I study.
Archaeology shows us proof that not knowing your limits will only help you achieve anything. These prehistoric cultures created tools and survived on standards that people today couldn’t fathom. They understood math, biodiversity, and the stars with out the tools and technology we have today- and they did it well. It breaks my heart to know that the generations ahead of us will be unable to imagine life without computers, calculators, cell phones and Google. Heck, I can’t even waste my time carrying numbers in my head when I have the luxury of a calculator on my iPhone 4.
I heard a theory while I was in Belize that the Maya fell because their intelligence was held by few and those few got killed. It got me thinking about the world we live in today. Several career paths that university students follow in the United States (other countries too I imagine, but only for the US can I speak) that do not give time for settling down and starting a family. It is the norm now for women to take on professional careers that only lend for reproduction around the age of 30, which by then they have biologically lost their prime birthing years. Men are just as guilty, giving those of us with the drive and intellect to be successful, no time to reproduce and make the six-figures we all want.
The unfortunate flip-side to this is that those reproducing and overpopulating are the least educated in our country. Teenage mothers are not only barely biologically ready to raise a child, but possibly risk affecting the brain power of their offspring if they are not careful. Also, those who are poor and undereducated that keep having babies and populating our society need to be kept mind that they are having a negative effect on the growth of the human race. We are not short on organisms of our kind, there is no need to replace oneself and thy partner more than once.
So how does this relate to the Maya?
While the astronomers, herbal doctors, historians and mathematicians were doing work holding down the culture and intellect, the ignorant and uneducated commoners were reproducing. Not only were they reproducing themselves, they were providing armies of little dead-brained workers to further the food and small-trade abundance of the greater population. This is extremely important… except when there’s war. After warfare started, the enemy would blunder through the common people and capture the brains. Once deceased, the common-folk who may or may not have been literate were forced to figure out survival of starvation, continuation of society, and parliamentary relations that they knew nothing about.
Darwin explained that those only fit will need to reproduce to create the alpha population that can sustain adaptations and conversion to environment. When the most fit decide through their own will not to reproduce it provides just as harmful of a epidemic as those unfit continually replacing themselves.
Although that may be an extreme comparison, I fear for the repeat of a tragic history. The human race has had so much potential in the last 15,000 years and we have overcame and broken down too many times to have the fault of our sedentary lifestyles and dependency on technology to let us down.
Everybody has that friend who is nearly bonkers. This girl/guy is crazy, spontaneous, always down to rage and outbursts the wildest remarks at the worst times. This is the friend that makes or breaks relationships for you.
Every time I decide “Hey, maybe I like this guy and want him to stick around for awhile,” I introduce him to one of my best friends. She is usually a little quieter and can approve of him on a positive/negative level, as in “he seems like he’s got potential” or “I see this going no where you look miserable.” Given either situation, I pursue the next option.
INTRODUCE HIM TO THE CRAZY ONE.
Obviously don’t tell her, that’d be straight up weird. Just introduce them, preferably in a situation such as a club/concert/party/outing.
This isn’t because you want to scare him. It’s merely a way to reassure that you and him are in it for the right reasons. If he can still care about you and be smiling at the end of the day, he will still be there when you’re puking your brains out after too many redbull&vodkas or not care when you are out until 4 am in a different city. That makes this guy a keeper, even if it’s for the short term. If he runs in the other direction or says “hey do you get like that too?” maybe he had no idea what he was getting in to and is a fun sucker and you don’t want him anyway except for to eat dinner and see a ballet.
This has a 6/6 success rate for me personally.
So you stayed the night. That’s all fine and dandy but now your make-up is smeared and it’s less-than-fab to roll out of his house/dorm wearing that dress. It’s not easy to master, but once you do, you’ll save the stress. If you can’t do it, no worries. Just try to bring him to your place.
1. Try to rub the make up under your eyes off. I understand it all happened so fast, after the fun you passed out, but for the love of God girl, get that make up off. No one wants to wake up next to Cruela Deville when they fell asleep to a goddess.
2. Gum, mouthwash, toothbrush, whatever. Alcohol leads to horrible morning breath, you know this.
3. Don’t overstay your welcome. Maybe you have no where to be. Maybe you want a round two. Regardless, keep it simple, keep it polite, and just roll out as soon as you get up.
4. Leave no item behind. The fastest way to become a target in an all boys house or dorm is to leave something behind after a night-stay.
5. Smells like morning. This could mean sex, this could mean stale beer, this could also mean, god forbid, puke. I don’t expect you to keep perfume in your bra, just be aware of your surroundings.
Some tips of how to date someone without actually dating them. Because in college sometimes we don’t have time for the real thing.
1. Do not use social media to promote your relationship. For example, “So excited to see _____ later <3” or “I’m so glad we hung out the other day” doesn’t help either of you. Not only do you not want to blow up their wall or feed, you also don’t want to ruin chances with anyone else around.
2. Afraid of messing up their name? Babe, Hon, Sweetheart, InsertPetName works too. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t know their name and be respectful, but hey we all fuck up sometimes. Just try not to let that be the mistake, and not before or during the bedroom scene.
3. Texting, calling, and banging down their door is a time-appropriate thing. If you can’t go two hours without talking to him, if you get upset that they haven’t responded, or if it’s eating you alive that you don’t know where he is, then you want a relationship and this isn’t for you. If you are just a control freak, then the poor kid doesn’t want you and you should get a puppy.
4. When texting or conversation gets too serious, don’t use your words. Did that text make you squirm? Was his line a little too “love at first sight?” or even leading to the “what are we?” Respond with a (: or just make out with the kid, it helps ease the tension and gives the extra couple of minutes to come up with a better response.
5. Keep your friends in the know. The worst way to fuck something up is to have your friends blow your cover. “Where is she?” “With the other guy” is just a really terrible scenario. Your friends need to know your stance and his friends need to think you’re the sweetest catch ever.
6. Leave on the best note ever. All good things must come to an end, and the most important point I can stress is to keep it positive. Although reasons may be unfortunate, make sure that if your name is ever brought up in their presence the only remarks they have will be on the sweeter side. Rather than turn into a rude bitch or sleep with his best friend, be understanding, good hearted, and dismiss it as a passerby in the timeline of your love life.
All my life I have had friends that were boys. It just was second nature to me. I was the only girl with six brothers and that meant no Barbies or Polly Pocket, but cars and baseballs. I can talk about sports, play sports, and get dirty without crying about my nails. Because of this, I have been one of the boys, a girl that they love like a sister.
Now that I am older, I realize that there are pros and cons to this behavior. Yeah I can flirt and joke about things, listen in and give advice, but also there are barriers between friendships.
I never knew that my best friend was in love with me. We met the first day of high school, last period of the day, in math. I remember it so well because that class sucked so bad besides the fact that I could talk to him. Both of us were in relationships in high school, madly in love, using each other as shoulders to cry on, therapists for advice, and the blunt-truth givers when needed. I could go to Jarod for anything, and for the longest time my boyfriends would resent that. Until they realized that there was nothing to be worried about, he was taken and he would be there to help them in times of my insanity.
After being in college for two years, I came home to realize that I was so fortunate to have someone so special in my life. He was the date to my aunt’s wedding, my parents loved him, and he was someone to hang out with when girl drama got to be too much. TOO BAD I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ME. I mean what are the signs really? How do you know? How do you define the line between friends and lovers?
He confessed his feelings, I clammed up, and we haven’t talked since. I hooked up with his best friend and he broke down. I couldn’t comfort him because I was the problem. It is the worst feeling in the world to lose a best friend, and worse more when it’s your fault.
I guess I’ll never understand where the tides changed and feelings got crossed…